Your Baby Shouldn’t Break Your Home By Adetutu Oshofowora

Part 2: Breastfeeding Things.

This morning before I proceed, I’ll first like to establish some foundational issues. These series of posts is adressing women basically because it’s time we face the fact that it’s not only men that have issues in marital problems, we as women do too, over the years men have generally been painted and presented as the villains and only causative organisms In marital problems and yes I agree that they have their serious parts to play, few weeks ago on my wall I boldly told women to give their abusive husbands the left foot of fellowship and many women hailed and we’re happy abi? Also on this same wall some months ago I put up 20 rules for a good husband and we women hailed again bag? Good.

Well sisters, it takes two to tango, we have our issues too and when they are being addressed we should just deal with it, many men too suffer in silence In many marriages, our husbands too have needs and rights which shoujd and must be met so if it’s time to talk woman to woman, then let’s face it and deal with it, I am neither for women or for men, I am for God in homes.

Now to today’s topic, I said yrstrday that your breast is not for your baby, it’s basically for your husband, your baby is just borrowing it and so while you loan it to that baby, you got to take some measures not to allow that season and your baby to prematurely turn your breasts into a slippers.
Firstly, I’m not the one who said your breast is for your hubby, the Bible did in Prov 5:19, the Bible says he has the right to always be satisfied by your breasts, also a woman’s breasts was mentioned 8 times in the book of songs of Solomon and 7 times of it was mentioned in relation to her lover, that tells me the Bible is very much interested in your breasts and it has more interests over your breasts and your husband, so you as a woman should also take interest.

Now let me talk about the breasts and the factors that makes breastfeedind to affect it, Pls patiently follow me. The female breasts comes in different shapes and sizes, God is so awesome in variety, we have mango shaped, pear shaped, calabash shaped etc, lolll (don’t be mad at me sisters, those shapes are fearfully and wonderfully made, I got my own shape there too, lolll) , but basically all breasts are either round or oblong, the sizes also varies, some of us have small or moderate sizes while others are more endowed, amazingly beautiful women we are, turning male heads all over the place.

So what happens during breastfeeding, from the time of pregnancy till delivery, the breasts becomes engorged with milk making it bigger and heavier, this situation stretches the muscles and skin of the breasts naturally, now when this distention and stretching continues for long without proper handling, what do you think will happen after finally the milk that distended and stretched it leaves, it can’t go back to shape, it will retain that distended shape. It now becomes worse or aggravated depending on the shape and size of the breasts. Round calabash breasts that are relatively small have Better chances of retaining their shape longer but oblong and bigger breasts are at greater risks because they are already downward in shape.

Also, many women breastfeeds for long, some go as long as over a year and in that year, they will do like 4 to 5 months exclusive, then to make the matter worse, shortly after they stop breastfeeding the first child, they take in again and the poor breasts becomes engorged again and repeats the process, in 8 years this competent soldier breasts will repeat that process maybe 3 or 4 times, meaning it worked to Feed those 4 babies for almost 4 yrs running without much break, Haba! If it is you too that someone used and squeezed like that, will you not crumble up, and during this time o, many of us will squeeze these breasts to express milk, your ten months old child who is already walking too will squeeze it while sucking just for fun like an interesting toy,.

So tell me, if we don’t take some measures your formerly firm, supple and soft breasts will in just 10 yrs of marriage become a well-worn flat slippers and why should this be if it can be avoided.
I am not saying don’t breast feed your precious baby even though if you don’t, nadah will happen, please breast feed them, in fact some of us unlike me seem to enjoy breastfeeding, the reason eludes me because the person that is tasked with the responsibility to give me pleasure via my breasts is not that baby but my hubby, but I guess it’s the joy of motherhood abi? I agree, but please while enjoying motherhood, don’t neglect wifehood.

A lot of good husbands may not talk but they actually secretly hopes that their wives breasts remains soft, supple and firm for as long as possible, and it is his right to want that, so all I’m saying is make it easy for him to be enravished with your love by following these tips below:

1. From the time your breasts becomes engorged especially those of us with endowed ones or oblong shapes till you stop breastfeeding, make sure you wear firm bra and wear it to bed. As much as possible, avoid sleeping overnight without bra. This will help to hold up the weight of the engorgement refusing to allow it to stretch or pull your skin downwards.
2. Except it is absolutely necessary, avoid using hands to express Milk from your breasts, a breast pump is better, by using hands, you are pressing the breasts downwards repeatedly by yourself, it’s a matter of time, it will stay down.
3. This may not sound nice to you but why must a one year old child with almost complete teeth who has started day care still be sucking your breast, Haba! Reduce your breast feeding time jare, wetin! And the men reading this should stop forcing their wives to breastfeed for too long cos you don’t wanna spend money on milk, I beg if you want her to breastfeed for so long, then bring out your own breast too and alternate is and see how easy it is.
4. If you are now the type that must sha breastfeed for so long, then Please, space your children, give this old soldier breast some respite to rest and rejuvenate, even God rested now, biko.
   5. Try not to allow your baby to be squeezing your breasts while feeding like it’s some toy, is it his own, daddy will squeeze, now baby is squeezing too, have you not noticed some babies when they grab their mothers breasts like this and as they suck, they push it here, pull it there and generally man handle the thing and the mum too will be smiling, I always feel like slapping the babies, you are borrowing something and then you are misusing it, next time, smack his hands and let him cry.
   Finally, another habit that mothers have during nursing season that affects their hubbys and which should be avoided are these two:
5. Stop putting your baby on your bed between you and your hubby to sleep with you to make it easy to shuck his/her mouth with your breast when he wakes up to eat, most guys don’t like it, I know cos I talk to guys too, our husbands just don’t complain so that you won’t again tag them as insensitive, how can the poor guy reach out for his wife in the middle of the night, not necessarily for sex but just cuddle when his royalty ; baby junior the first is in the middle of the bed. Pls, keep him in his court, carry him to Feed and return. And if you want your husband’s help, the only way he can help you at night duty is for you not to do exclusive, give breast during the day and milk at night, that way when you are tired, a good guy will take over.
6. And finally, sisters Pls, stop bringing out your breasts in every public area all in the name of breastfeeding, the average guy doesn’t like it, and if you will, don’t just bring the whole thing out gbaga for every Dick, Dorcas, John and Jane to see, the fact that you are a mother does not remove the fact also that you are still his woman.

In conclusion, I am not against breastfeeding, and I also know that whether you breastfeed or not, the ageing process will alter your breasts eventually but what I’m saying is that don’t allow what is for eventually to start happening now. Why should you be a 30 something or 40 something year old woman but you have the breast of a 60 year old.

I celebrate you all.

Shallom.

Adetutu is a Public Administrator, she writes from Ibadan, Oyo State.