It’s been over two weeks since the OGs returned to the Biggieverse. There’s already been two strong ships, two shaky ships, at least 20 fights, one almost-disqualification, several strategy meetings, two wager wins, and one eviction. Needless to say, it’s been dramatic and filled with premium content.
Even though the All-Stars housemates are not your regular kind, it’s interesting that they still fit the usual mould of people you’d see in Biggie’s house. So, we’ve grouped them, and all you need to remember is one person can be many things, as this breakdown will prove.
Are you ready?
1. The Gossips – Every housemate falls into this category, but can anyone blame them? When you are used to a life filled with events, thousands of messages on your phone and being in the know, and then Big Brother asks you to return for one more run in his Biggieverse without your phone, it makes sense to turn to house gossip. At the end of the day, we are not even sure we can call it gossiping; it’s just basically Twitter on steroids – everybody Dey tok everybody gist!
2. The Accenters – There is a preserved space for these people, especially those whose accents are always turnioniown and fluctuating like bad NEPA light. A few honourable mentions here include Mercy with her Amerigbo accent, Venita, who can comfortably shift between Wafi, American and British accents, or Princess, whose accent frustrated Uriel so much the latter just had to report it to Biggie. Uriel takes us to another sub-group in the accent crew – those who have accents gotten from years in a foreign land. Only Kiddwaya’s accent still seems as strong as his first time in the house. It appears the ‘Buhari’ regime took 50% of Uriel and Ike’s accent as it left, but don’t tell them we said anything!
3. The Task Masters – They will give their right arm and left leg to ensure they win every task. It doesn’t matter what you want them to do. They will always come correct. People like Mercy, Alex, Uriel, Seyi, Adekunle, and Frodd fall into this category. But seriously, every housemate should probably get a shout-out here since they’ve successfully managed to win their wagers back-to-back for two weeks.
4. The Cooks – this is a unique category because it has brought as much drama as it has brought joy. They are divided into three groups – team Healthy, led by Uriel; team unhealthy, led by Ogbuefi Whitemoney; and Team ‘we want to cook what we like’, co-captained by Venita and Frodd. One day we’ll finally find an answer to the question – whose food is most delicious?
5. The Gym Rats – Every year, there’s always that group of people who sleep during gym time and the others who have a physique to maintain and take gym time seriously. People like Soma, Cross, Neo, Uriel, Alex, and Venita readily come to mind. Before you even try to argue, look at their bodies, and you’ll help us write this ‘gym rat’ in capital letters!
6. The BFFS – What is it with housemates and needing Best friends? One day we’ll dive into the psychology behind the need to pair up, but for now, let’s shout out the guys whose bromance and friendships give us all the awwws. Everyone will agree that Neo and Tolanibaj should champion this list, especially since this their bestie is giving more FWB than BFF. Then there’s Doyin and Ilebaye, who still seem as thick as thieves, despite their wild fight on Sunday morning. Venita and Mercy also make us want to find besties, as well as Seyi and Frodd. We love to see the bromance!
7. The Strategists – Ideally, everyone should fall into this category, especially since they are playing for ₦120 million cash prize plus other gifts. Still, not everyone will admit that they do. Some have shown more clearly than others that they have a game plan and will create the alliances or narratives needed to ensure it works. The Pepper Dem crew sits comfortably in this space. Anyone with eyes can see that Mercy, Ike, Seyi, Venita and Frodd intend to collaborate into at least the top 10. Then there’s Kiddwaya, Whitemoney, Neo, Ilebaye, Pere, and Adekunle with their different moves. Anyone with the patience to break their strategic plays down should please do us all a favour and share. We’d love to see it!
8. The Cry-babies – The thing with life is there are many reasons to cry – both good and bad, and the All-Stars season has already given us a few. There are angry criers like Venita and Ilebaye, happy criers like Soma and emotional ones like Frodd. All we know is that we can relate, and we’ll most likely have cried too in many of the situations these guys found themselves in.
9. The Barbies – There are those whose bodies were formed at the gym and others whose bodies were moulded. It’s unladylike and ungentlemanly to call out those who had theirs sculpted, but we’ll leave you to ponder. As the saying goes – if you know, you know!
10. The 419 crew – Okay, we’ll agree that calling this a crew is misleading. Let’s call it a one-man gang and name the CEO, PR Manager, creative director, strategist, and Logistics manager – Ike.
11. The shippers – Show us a BBNaija season with no ships; we’ll wait. Oya, so that we don’t wait till we grow grey hairs, let’s help you – there’s none. We were wrong to think the OGs would form big boys and girls. There are presently two main ships in the house – Adenita (Adekunle and Venita) and Somgel (Soma and Angel). We predict they won’t last all season long, but we’ll have to see. Then there are those being moved by every wind of smooches – Ilebaye and Cross, Neo and Tbaj/Uriel, Pere and Alex/CeeC. There are still about 7 weeks left, so there’s more than enough time to see how these play out.
Catch all the drama live on the 24/7 channel – DStv ch. 198 and GOtv ch. 49 or on the go via the My DStv Stream app or Showmax.
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